Raya set her pencil down and heaved a heavy sigh. She had just finished writing a letter to Dirk reminding him of the time they spent together and catching him up on how she was doing. Any normal person wouldn’t try to contact someone who hurt them so but Raya wasn’t normal, as she liked to categorize herself. She was special now. Her purpose for sending the letter was to remind him of what he did and what he created, though she’d never give him credit for her “success”.

As she finished her sigh a sharp knock sounded at her door.

“Raya, dad said he’s done putting all of your shit into the moving truck.” A muffled voice yelled through the door.

“Hey watch your mouth, Brit! Tell dad I’ll be down in a sec.” Raya yelled back.

Where did she learn that from? Raya thought. She was such a cute little kid and now Brit’s such a brat.

Brittany, Raya’s youngest sister, had just turned into a teen. Ever since her mother died, Brittany had become rebellious and rarely listened to anyone. She’d come home late and hang out with whoever would have her. Far different from Raya, old and new.

Raya sealed the letter and pushed the chair back. She scanned her room for her backpack. She was going to deliver the letter today, when she was sure she was far enough from town. This town was small and people talked. Even though no one knew who Dirk was, Raya was popular and it was sure to stir up some rumors, even after she was gone. She put the letter in the front pocket of her mother’s old work bag. The bag wasn’t Raya’s style but it was the only thing she had left of her mother; well, the only thing Raya would ever admit to owning, as she had a reputation to uphold.

Raya gave her room a once over to make sure she had everything she needed to take with her. She ran a mental checklist in her head. Books and clothes are in the car. My laptop is in the backpack and so is the letter. Great, I have everything.

After she ran over everything in her head, she closed her bedroom door and headed downstairs. She was greeted with the sound of the television playing one of Daisy’s favorite shows, Spooky Graveyard. Daisy, the middle daughter, got the least amount of attention of the three; with Raya being the popular one and Brittany being the rebel, that left Daisy to be invisible. She always felt alone and scared. Her mother’s death changed a lot with them all.

Daisy was engrossed in her show and Brittany was pretending to sleep. Neither of them had noticed Raya’s presence.

Raya quirked her eyebrow. Her presence was always noticed, except in this house. They saw Raya every day and got used to her exuberant personality. Raya placed her hand on her hip and cleared her throat. Both sisters stopped what they were doing, heads turning to the direction of the noise. Brittany rolled her eyes and returned to ignoring them. Daisy, on the other hand, got off the couch and went over to Raya and hugged her tight. Raya hugged her back, pulling her away just as quick. She could feel her shirt getting wet.

“What is wrong with you?” Raya asked confused.

“I’m just gonna miss you is all.” Daisy sniffled out.

“Don’t be such a cry baby, Daisy.” Brittany said, sitting up.

“Shut up Bitchny.” Daisy snapped.

“Hey! Hey! Hey!” Raya exclaimed trying to get her sisters to stop. “Calm down, what is wrong with you guys?”

“Nothing’s wrong with me. I’m just tired of hearing her cry every night.”

“I don’t cry every night! And how would you know anyway, you’re never home?”

Brittany had no counter argument. Huffing, she scooted further from Daisy on the couch.

“Anyway,” Raya said, turning her attention to her more sensitive sister. She reminded Raya a lot of her former self, and knew that Daisy needed to be handled gently, especially since their mother’s death. “Why are you crying? I’m only going to be gone for a few months then I go on break.”

“Yeah, I know, but anything could happen in those few months…” Daisy said looking down at the ground. She continued talking in a whisper, “like what happened to mom.”

“Daisy.” Raya said smoothly.

“Why do you always have to go there? Mom’s dead, get over it! I’m so tired of this!” Brittany screeched and stormed upstairs.

Raya watched her youngest sister run up the stairs. She heard the faint sound of the door close. It would have been louder if Brittany’s room was on the second floor.

“Why is she such a brat?” Raya stated to no one. She received an answer anyway.

“Because she misses mom and she’s going to miss you and doesn’t want to admit it. All she’s going to have left is me, who she hates and a dad that’s still suffering.” Daisy said in Brittany’s direction. She turned to Raya. “You’re the only one who pays her any attention, well the attention that she wants. You should go to her. She needs you.”

Raya was left speechless. ‘Since when has Daisy been so knowledgeable about people?’ Raya thought. But she was right. Brittany did need Raya, so she set her backpack down and headed up to the third floor of their house.

Raya knocked on her little sister’s door.

“Bratany, what’s up.” She said in a sing song voice, trying to break the tension that was still lingering.

“Go away, Raymond Jr.” Brittany yelled.

“Hey, that’s a family secret!” Raya laughed. “I’m coming in.”

“Do whatever you want, it’s a free country,” Brittany grumbled. Raya could hear the tears in Brittany’s voice.

Raya opened the door and took a seat on Brittany’s bed.

“Who’s the crybaby now?” Raya giggled.

“Raya, shut up,” Brittany said into her pillow.

“Seriously though, why are you crying?”

“I’m not crying! And if I was, what does it matter to you?”

Raya stood up. She was getting sick of her little sister. She didn’t have to be up here to comfort her. She should be on the road right now, going to drop of Dirk’s letter and then heading to school.

“Listen, Brittany, I’m trying to be nice here and you’re testing my patience. Either tell me what’s wrong or I’ll be seeing you in a few months.”

Brittany rolled over on her side in the opposite direction of Raya.

“Fine.” She sighed. “I’m sad that you’re leaving.”

“Oh?” Raya said. “You’re gonna miss little ol’ me?” Raya sat back down on the bed and rolled over on top of her little sister. “Raya? Raymond Jr.?”

“Oh my god, yes! Get off of me! I can’t breathe!” Brittany wheezed out.

Raya rolled back over.

“You’re the only one who pays attention and looks out for me. You know mom was really never around and then since she had the baby, it was all about the baby and you. Dad was there for me but then mom had to go and die…” Brittany stopped and rolled over to face her older sister. She looked Raya in the eyes. “Now he only pays attention to me when Daisy rats me out, unlike you. I don’t know, you’re kind of like the mother I need and now you’re leaving me too…”

Raya let out a hefty sigh. She felt like she’d been sighing all day.

“Just like I told Daisy, I’ll be gone for a few months then I’ll come back for break.”

“Yeah, I know this. I’m not dense. It’s just that I’ll have to deal with Daisy snitching. Who’s gonna get me out of trouble?”

“You’re going to have to get yourself out of trouble by not getting into trouble. And Daisy is looking out for you. She cares. She just shows it by telling.” Raya got off the bed. “Now I’ve gotta go. I’m sure dad’s wondering if I got lost in the house.” Raya opened the door and was about leave when Brittany shot up and called out to her.

“Wait.”

“What?”

Brittany ran up and hugged Raya. Raya smirked and hugged her back.

“Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone,” Raya whispered into Brittany’s hair.

“I can’t make any promises,” Brittany whispered back.

They broke the hug and Raya closed Brittany’s door and headed back downstairs.

“Daisy, I’m about to go!” Raya yelled at Daisy while she picked up her backpack and suitcase.

“I’m right here, you don’t need to yell,” Daisy said getting off the couch to give Raya her final hug.

“Later, Daisy,”

“See ya, Raya,”

Raya stopped at her mother’s urn before leaving out the door. Raya knew that if her mom was still with them she’d be here hugging her saying goodbye, or she would hope. Brittany wasn’t wrong; their mother was never really around. It was almost like she put her children third. Despite that, it still threatened tears to Raya’s eyes every time she thought of the actual moments the two shared, good and bad.

Raya had to remind herself not to cry. Tears showed weakness and Raya was far from weak. She told herself that she was leaving her old self behind and she was doing just that. She shook her head, shaking the thoughts of her mom out of her head. It was time to say goodbye to her father.

Raya headed outside but was stopped in the foray by her father.

“Dad, I’m ready!” Raya whispered.

Her father gave her a sad smile and pulled her into a tight hug.

“Raya, my darling daughter…”

“Dad.”

“Yes?”

“Let go. You’re hugging me too tight.”

“Sorry, honey.” He loosened his grip but didn’t let go. “I’m just going to miss you so much. I remember when you-”

“Dad, don’t.”

“But you’ll be gone for so long. We’ll all be so lonely.”

“Dad, I said don’t.”

“Okay okay. I just want to tell you I love you and that I’ll miss you terribly.” Tears started to well in her eyes. She wiped them away quickly. Don’t show weakness. Don’t show weakness. She would miss her dad the most.

“Bye, dad.”

He walked her to the moving van and closed the door when she got in.

“Bye, Raya.” He whispered. He patted the car to send her off.

Raya drove the van down the road and to the farthest mail post. She unzipped her bag and pulled out the letter she wrote. Looking down at the letter she sighed at the contents and dropped the writing into the mailbox.

Goodbye, Dirk. She thought. And with that, she got back into the moving van and headed to University.